FYI: This post first appeared on my other blog but I wanted to move it here because it represents what I am going for in this blog 🙂
May 3, 2011
Last night as I was thinking about writing this I started reflecting on the past year but all I could really focus on was the last week. This past week has been a hard one. You were/are sick and fighting so hard to be better, your temper and tantrums have hit their highest point, and your love for snuggles has grown. We have begun butting heads and I am realizing that even though you may look only like your daddy and his family, you have my spunk and personality with a little bit of his thrown in. I think that is why I have such a hard time with you because we both want it our way. But at night when you won’t go to sleep for your dad, when you want a little more cuddling and all I can do is oblige because it gives me those precious moments where I get to hold you just a little longer. Where your hand lays softly on my chest and you want my eye contact until you can no longer hold yours open. It is in those moments that I am glad I listened to the sayings that “time goes so fast” they grow up so fast” they will be old before you know it” because I have been able to spend almost every moment with you.
In this past year you have learned: to walk, run, jump, shake hands, high-five, use the stairs, use the potty, hold hands in prayer, do your version of the sign of the cross, talk in sentences, show your glee, find the tiniest little ants and other bugs, drink from a cup, feed yourself, wash your face and hands, sleep in a big girl bed, put yourself to sleep at naps, almost dress yourself, water the plants, unload the dishwasher, draw with chalk, use a drill, give kisses and hugs, throw things in the trash and recycling, “read” books to us, make cheers with glasses, put on your shoes and socks, play peek-a-boo, use a vhs player, rock and swaddle your babies, use the rain barrel, spot an airplane in the sky, follow the squirrels through the trees, hold my hand when walking, eat an ice cream cone…
Just writing the title is bittersweet to me because I really no longer have a baby, especially when I see you growing and changing so quickly in front of me. Two years ago today you were born after a very long and then complicated delivery. And in a couple of weeks you will have a sibling. I really had a hard time deciding if another person in our family was right because I knew that meant that the time I have with you would be shared and I know that sometimes its hard to share. That our lives would be turned upside down again, our routines changed and our house a little fuller. But then your dad and I thought about how much you would like having another small person in the house. How as you grow older together you would get to play, laugh and maybe sometimes even fight but that person would become your best friend. Saying all of that I have to say that small person will take up a lot of my time and that will cause mommy some pain at first that won’t allow me to hold and rock you or to play as hard as you like but will also bring joy to your life. But this pain will only be temporary and that I will always still be here and you will always be my baby girl.
I love you baby girl! Happy Birthday 🙂